I never knew you from the sun

Surprising that it should still surprise, this sudden onrush of tenderness. A disruption in the usually integrated functions of consciousness, memory, identity, or perception of the environment. All dissociative disorders are defined as causing significant interference with the patient's general functioning, including social relationships and employment. I say that dissociation is a psychological defense mechanism in which specific, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations are separated from the rest of the psyche. We all do it. Every person I have ever known has shattered my perception(or knowledge) of them once I see them again. The face in the hotel mirror seems blurred some mornings, as if by too many such casual looks.

I beg you . . . To have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search in vain for the answers, which cannot be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, live your way into the answer.

Henry Darger is the current love of my life.

One of the reasons I enjoyed I Heart Huckabees is because it is an existential comedy, which makes me feel like less of a nerd for writing this. I suppose that what I want to say is: I've figured out that nothing is easy. Not even happiness.











* Thanks are due to Kimya.